That's as good as money!

...those are IOUs!

I owe you a long blog post. Or more than one. Life has been stressful lately. I had an exam on Monday, and I have another on Friday, and another next Monday. I also have two grant proposals due soon. I have been so tense I have had a hard time falling asleep lately, even though I am so worn out and tired and I'm definitely not getting enough sleep. whine whine whine... :)

I wake up in the morning torn between a desire to save the world and a desire to savor the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.

—E.B. White

Gratitude

Today I am so glad for friends that notice when I seem upset or frustrated, and make an effort to ask what is up, and talk to me about it... I don't know what I would do without them. ...sniffle...

:)

Happy planets!

I think I've been spending a little too much time doing homework when I find myself typing this sentence: Pluto has the size and mass of a very small terrestrial planet, as well as having a solid surface, but lies at a distance more in line with the jovial planets....


(for you non-astronomers out there, I meant Jovian planets...)

Living in a material world...

Stuff I've never owned

• an ipod
• more than 3 or 4 DVDs
• an SUV
• a skateboard
• an eyeliner pencil
• earrings
• a paper shredder

Stuff I've owned but never used

• pencil case -- great idea in theory, but in practice I could never quite get into it
  
• wedding dress -- hey, it was on sale, and I'm sure I'll use it eventually
  
• black fuzzy pants
  
• camelback -- this one I will use, I've just not had occasion thus far
  
• metronome
  
• car insurance -- I guess I've sort of used it in that I have it, but I've never been in an accident and had to use it
  
• hmm... can't think of anything else
  

Stuff I wish I owned

• takedown recurve 30-35# bow
• BU hoodie
• new laptop
• bike
• tent
• car :)
  

Stuff I love owning

• Chris (hahaha)
• my guitar
• racquetball racket
• skies/boots/poles
• green laser
• fuzzy slippers
• Princess (though this one is debatable as others claim ownership)
• my cell phone
• laptop
• plane ticket to Copenhagen in November
• TI-89
• Legos

homework :P

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahy!

To have loved and lost...

During the course of a conversation with my brother today, the following was said:

aa [aka my brother]: you konw what they say

me: what do they say?

aa: better to have

for(int i=0; i<50; i++)
{
love(true);
love(false);
}


than

love == null

me: hahaha

I'm putting that on my blog

I'm leaving on a jet plane...

and going to Copenhagen next month!!!!! :)

I am the greatest lab instructor that ever lived...

Today I had an inspiration for what to do in lab. (FYI, I'm a lab instructor for Astronomy labs...) Last week we did Luminosity and we did a few different exercises to measure the Inverse Square Law of luminosity using lightbulbs of different wattages and a differential null photometer (made of wax). The problem was that everyone was using metal guards around the light bulbs to shield the light so it wouldn't interfere with the other lab groups. These were basically a box made out of sheet metal with 2 empty sides, so it would shield 3 sides and the top and prevent the light from spilling out everywhere. The problem was that the inside of these boxes was shiny and highly reflective and it was directing more light toward the photometer and causing the results to be skewed. Realizing this, I explained to the class today what their problem was, and also showed them how the ambient light in the room was probably throwing off their results as well, since there was light coming in the windows around the edges of the blinds which was causing the wax photometers to be initially brighter on the side toward the window, even without any of the light bulbs turned on. Then I brought up our previous discussion on error analysis how we discussed systematic errors and how they can be eliminated. Finally, I challenged them to set up the experiment again (working all together this time instead of in smaller groups, so they wouldn't have to worry about light from other groups messing up their readings), and eliminate these errors. I told them they could set it up anywhere, and use any materials they could come up with. Then I just sat back and watched. They did great! I was so proud of them, and I think this exercise was way more educational than just following a procedure out of a lab manual and doing exactly what it said. They actually had to think and come up with ideas and implement them. It was much more like "real" science. Yay for me!

I've always wanted to...

Friday I accomplished one of my life-long dreams... here's how it all happened:

I stepped into an elevator in the Astronomy building with a bunch of other astronomers. To my surprise and delight there was a bathroom scale in the elevator. I immediately recognized its purpose and exclaimed "I've always wanted to do that! That is so awesome!" My professor said "go for it!" so I jumped on the scale. As the elevator started descending I watched the reading on the scale drop to a certain point, and then return to the original weight. Then, as we approached the bottom floor the reading increased significantly, and then went back to my correct weight again. All of this was caused by the accelerations of the elevator, just FYI. The same reason if you jump at the right time on an elevator it feels weird. The acceleration creates an effective gravitational force which adds to (or detracts) the force of gravity, making you feel like you weigh more (or less). It's awesome. Seriously.

Dr. Horrible insight # 3,671

Rather than write another even longer essay about Dr. Horrible, I've decided to just write down my random insights about it, and then someday combine them into one convenient paper. Or novel. Or perhaps a set of volumes. ;) Today's insight:

Goggles
I realized on the train today (yes I know I'm pathetic) that although Dr. Horrible has goggles on, they remain perched atop his head through the duration of the movie. The only time he actually puts them over his eyes is at the very end, when he changes from his white coat to the red one. A friend pointed out to the a few days ago that one of the "messages" of the movie seems to be about being who you are instead of trying to be something you're not. We see this in the fact that Penny was starting to fall for Billy as Billy, and if he had only been content to be himself, he probably would have ended up with her. Although Billy is drawn to the Dr. Horrible persona, he still holds on to a part of himself--symbolized by not actually covering his eyes with the goggles. Until the end, of course, when he loses Penny and embraces Dr. Horrible completely, perhaps in an attempt to escape the pain he feels at being somewhat responsible for her death.

Stickers and lunchboxes

So the other day I was in the store with my roommate and we saw some stickers. These were not just any stickers, they were those plastic stickers that are slightly raised (puffy?)--"bumpy stickers" as I called them--with googly eyes. It suddenly reminded me of a time back when I was a small child, with a plastic lunch box (man, those were cool!). During those days it became popular to put stickers on one's lunchbox, and my brothers and I wanted to be cool like all our little peers. Thus, we wanted to get some stickers for our lunchbox, too. I remember explaining to my mom exactly what type of stickers we were looking for and just how important it was that they had googly eyes. :) (Things like this are a big deal to a 4-year old, ok...) A few days later (or maybe it was just one day... or even the same day... my memory fails me here) she produced a sheet of 9 bumpy stickers, and we each got to choose 3 for our lunchboxes! I remember feeling so cool that I had not one, but three bumpy stickers on my lunchbox! That was such a great day in my life! Thanks, mom, for the bumpy stickers!

Dr. Horrible is here...

Everyone that knows me even remotely well is probably aware that I have an unhealthy obsession with Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog. I watched it 4 times in the first 24 hours after discovering it. Sadly, my discovering of this movie actually arrived pretty late on the scene (as in, last week), and all the cool kids had known about it for months already. What can I say, I'm out of the loop.

My new fixation on this movie, combined with my many many watchings of it, has lead me to start analyzing it in my head. I have a tendency to do this with movies, TV shows, and books that I like. Perhaps even to the extent that I find meaning that isn't really there. But on the other hand, isn't the search for meaning part of what life is all about? Let me just say (as a shoutout to Tom Peterson) that this movie definitely speaks to me. I guess part of my over-analysis was to find out exactly why.

WARNING: The following contains HUGE SPOILERS. (haha... I've always wanted to write that in a blog.) If you have not seen Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, what the heck is wrong with you!?!! Go watch it (unless you are my little brother because I need to edit it for you first), and don't read this until you have.

The first thing I noticed, and one of the things I still love, is how at the very end of the movie, we see Billy sitting at his computer in his regular clothes. Previously, he is always decked out in Dr. Horrible attire. But this time he's just sitting there looking almost defeated. Interesting, considering that he has just achieved his biggest dream of getting into the ELE. But maybe that wasn't really what he wanted, even if he thought it was. It brings up some interesting questions such as what do we really want out of life? can something we think we want get in the way of what we really want? will a quest for fame and fortune or other people's approval/respect end in losing what is really important to us? (or would all of us mediocre people just like to think that... sour grapes, if you will) Was Billy playing Dr. Horrible for himself, or was he doing it to try to win the respect of Penny? Or other people in general. Did he really even want to rule the world?

Another thing I found interesting is how remarkably similar Penny and Billy were. They were both kind of lost, maybe had been a little depressed, and obviously single and alone (please note that "single" does not always equal "alone," but in this case it certainly seemed to equate). However, their responses to their situations were completely different. While Penny turned to saving the world by helping the homeless, volunteering, etc, and trying to find the good in humanity, Billy decided to become an evil supervillian and take over the world. He decided, perhaps rightly so, that the world was a mess {"and I just need to... rule it!"}. However, it's blatantly obvious that Billy/Horrible himself is not evil. In fact, he's actually more innocent and less corrupt than most people. And he wants social change.

This part also yields some interesting questions like what is evil, really? does everyone have a potential for both evil and good inside them? {"... evil inside of me is on the rise..."} What makes a person "evil"? This is actually a similar question to the one asked by the musical Wicked, which I also love. How does someone become wicked? Are they born that way or is it something that happens to them?

It's obvious that Captian Hammer is the real jerk--a typical middle school bully that picks on Horrible mercilessly. However, he is the one that gets put in the spotlight, gets all the media attention, gets the girl (temporarily), etc. In society today I think we also have a tendencey to put people up on pedestals that really shouldn't be there, that don't deserve it, that have done nothing to achieve it, and that aren't really the best heroes or role models. Why do we do this? Are we blind, or just in denial?

The movie does a good job of illustrating that there really is no black and white where you can say "he is good and he is bad." There is a huge spectrum of gray instead. Bad people can still do good things, and people that are inherently good can still screw up, or become bitter and hardened. It also kind of made me wonder if Superman is really a closet jerk, as he reminded me the most of Captain Hammer. I mean, yeah, we all love the nerdy Clark Kent, but maybe that was all just for show. Maybe it's not right the way we worship Superman as a pure, moral, perfect hero (and yes, I know that he doesn't really exist...). Why would having superpowers automatically make you so selfless and good? I see no reason why they should.

Dr. Horrible reminds me more of Batman, with no inhernet powers of his own, but lots of toys. I've always liked batman, perhaps because I have no superpowers either. He gives me hope that someday I could put on a mask and a cape and go out and save the world anyway.

Last but not least, the movie got me thinking about Hamlet. Not because there is much similarity--though now that I think about it I can see quite a few parallels between Billy and Hamlet--but because every time I read Hamlet I always wonder if he wasn't perhaps a little off his rocker, and maybe it was all in his mind. I don't know what Shakespeare intended, but it is an interesting idea. The same could be true in this movie. Maybe the only reality is that Billy dresses up in a dorky lab coat and sits in front of his blog every day and makes videos, goes to do laundry twice a week and swoons over a girl he's too afraid to talk to, and dreams of becoming something big and powerful that will impress people--specifically her. Maybe the rest is all his imagination. Maybe there really is no Evil League of Evil, no Freeze Ray, and Captain Hammer is just some jerk that beats him up all the time and steals his girl. So maybe he invents the whole Evil Leauge of Evil thing so that he can convince himself that it's ok that he doesn't have her because he has something bigger and better. I don't actually think this is true, but it does provide a whole new perspective on it.

Ok, I will spare you any more of my inane ramblings and not-so-insightful insights, and I will even leave out the list of references and sources, because this is getting long. But that is a short overview of a bit of my analysis of the movie. Now I need to get back to writing real papers about astronomy and stuff, so I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes.

"It was successful in that I achieved my objective; it was less successful in that I inadvertently introduced my arch enemy to the girl of my dreams and he's taking her on a date, and they're probably going to french kiss or something..."
--Dr. Horrible

hahaha... priceless. :)