For Adriannie, with love

This is a repost of a blog entry I wrote a long time ago, back when blogging was new and novel. It seems kind of cheap, like I'm pulling an Elton John (a la Candle in the Wind) and recycling an old song for you rather than writing a new one. But now I can see his perspective a little more, and some moments/emotions (shock comes to mind) just don't lend themselves well to a lot of creative energy. I was never as great of a writer as you were, anyway.

I remember our last conversation as rather lame and mundane. I was distracted by a bunch of other things while we chatted, and I don't even know if we said goodbye, or if one of us just went idle and then the other person went offline, as tends to happen in Messenger conversations. Sorry for not being more attentive.

I will miss your girlishness, obsession with shoes, and fascination with all things fashion. We were so much the opposite in so many ways that people (myself included) often wondered why we were ever friends. But it worked. You were the yin to my yang, the Jekyll to my Hyde... ok, this analogy isn't really going as well as I had envisioned. :P Honestly, sometimes you annoyed me and sometimes I annoyed you, but it was all good. We had fun together.

Thanks for your writing, your poems, your passion, your undying belief in true love, your fashion advice, your dating advice, your music, books, and movies. I'm truly regretful that we never got to go to Paris together. I heart you. :)

For the last time

I am fascinated by "lasts." They are so much more elusive than firsts. You always know when you are having a first, be it a first kiss, a first date, the first time trying a new food, visiting a new place, seeing a certain movie, meeting a new person, etc. But a last will sneak up on you, and if you aren't careful--which you usually aren't--you are likely to miss it completely.

Unlike a first, many times when you experience a last, you aren't even aware of it. For instance, if a friend or family member died suddenly, would you remember the last time you had hugged them or told them you loved them, or even the last time you really spoke with them? Perhaps you would, or perhaps not, but more than likely at the time you were not aware you were experiencing a last. There comes a day when every baby will learn to actually say, for example, "daddy" instead of "da-da." It just will happen, and when it does, who will remember the last time the baby-talk version was used? There are some friends that will be around for life, but most friends come and go. You are close for a while, and then you drift your separate ways. What was the last conversation you ever had?

If something ends, there has to be a last involved. Since very few things endure forever, that makes for a lot of lasts. (This could even be the last time you read my blog.) Sometimes I think it a shame that lasts usually don't announce themselves with such fanfare as firsts tend to do. It would certainly lend a new perspective.