APD

I have a little thing called "Auditory Processing Disorder." I don't usually like to be extremely public about this fact, but I've come to realize that it has probably had a big influence on my personality, so I guess I should come to terms with it.

According to Wikipedia, who is always right,

Auditory processing disorder [is a condition] which refers to difficulties in the processing of auditory information within the central nervous system, such as problems with: "...sound localization and lateralization; auditory discrimination; auditory pattern recognition; temporal aspects of audition, including temporal integration, temporal discrimination (e.g., temporal gap detection), temporal ordering, and temporal masking; auditory performance in competing acoustic signals (including dichotic listening); and auditory performance with degraded acoustic signals."

. . .

Persons with APD often:

• have trouble paying attention to and remembering information presented orally; cope better with visually acquired information
• may have trouble paying attention and remembering information when information is simultaneously presented in multiple modalities
• have problems carrying out multi-step directions given orally; need to hear only one direction at a time
• appear to have poor listening skills, and need people to speak slowly
• need more time to process information.
• develop a dislike for locations with background noise such as bar, clubs or other social locations
• prefer written communication (e.g. text chat)

It appears to others as a problem with listening. Somebody with APD may be accused of "not listening".

Holy cow, so anyone that knows me probably knows that pretty much ALL of those descriptors fit me. It's a little scary.

Wiki also points out that "those who have APD tend to be quiet or shy." ha. interesting.

Another thing I read somewhere else is that people with APD "tend to ignore people, especially if engrossed." I do this. Especially when I'm reading a book. If I am concentrating on something, and you come up to me to ask me a question or something, make SURE you really have my attention before asking. Otherwise I will probably mumble some one-word yes/no answer and not remember the entire thing 5 minutes later.

Well, probably the hardest thing to deal with for me is the fact that I don't learn from lectures. I just don't. Sometimes I will get something out of them, but for the most part, I leave class knowing little to no more about the subject of the day's lecture than I did went I went in to class. This causes me difficulty in keeping up with my classes sometimes. In the past I have talked to my professors and asked if they could give me lecture notes beforehand, or tell me what sections of the book they were going to cover in advance so I could read up on the material before the lecture. Sometimes that helps--just having seen the material before. I haven't tried doing that here, because I really hate to ask for special treatment. But maybe I should.

Also, I have a hard time answering questions in class. I realized finally that this is because I usually don't understand the question that is being asked enough to be able to formulate an answer on the spot like that. Plus I get nervous when I'm put on the spot anyway. One time in a math class my professor asked me to come up and do a problem on the board, and I refused. I just flat out said no. I think he was mad at me for it. But I didn't know how to do the problem and I would have just stood up there holding the marker with a blank look on my face.

Ok, actually I was wrong when I said not learning from lectures is the hardest thing about it. The hardest thing is that fact that people don't believe me when I try to tell them about it, and they think I'm making it up, or just making excuses for myself, or whatever. In one of my classes we talked a lot about "hidden disabilites" and how those are so much harder to deal with because people can't see them. For instance, if I were sitting in a wheelchair and I said "I can't walk," very few people would be like "Really. I find it hard to believe that you can't walk. If you would just stand up and try..." But when I say, "I have a really hard time with lectures and I can't process the information," the first response is usually "well, maybe you should just concentrate more and take notes..." blah blah blah. Ok, now I sound like I'm whining, which was not my intention. I was just trying to raise awareness. :P

I'm going to hit publish now, though I'll probably come back and edit this later. Enjoy.