Tonight I shall take a few moments before going to sleep to write a dedication to Burfelt. Man, where should I even start...
Burfelt is probably the coolest person I have ever known. I say that because he is the person I feel is most like me out of everyone I have ever known. So really I just think I am really cool. hahaha. Burfelt "gets" me, which is nice. It makes communication easier. We accomplish a great deal of communication without using real words. Sometimes that makes it difficult for other people to understand us. If Burfelt and I got stranded on a desert island for 6 months, when we got rescued we would be speaking an entirely new language (with large parts of it derived from moose sounds and various references to bees). That's how bad it is. People that hang out with us probably get annoyed. We also spend large amounts of time laughing hysterically at things that only the two of us seem to find funny. I must say this is a huge improvement over my life before I knew Burfelt, when I spent large amounts of time laughing hysterically by myself... and looking like a lunatic.
It's amazing that Burfelt and I met at all, when you consider how many times we should have met and didn't for one reason or another. Seriously, they were many. Eventually the forces of nature combined, the stars aligned, and I happened to show up at his apartment with a friend of a mutual friend to watch football (soccer for all you yankees). At this point he pretty much had nothing in his apartment except a TV, an air mattress (performing the job of a couch), and a chair. Those were good times. I've heard a rumor that he's still sleeping on the air mattress, but that's completely ridiculous. Of course he would have gotten a bed by now. :P But, I digress. I wish I could say I looked into his eyes that first moment and knew that we were destined to be friends forever, but the sad truth is that I stared stupidly at him because he started talking to me in Danish and he talks fast and I didn't understand a word he was saying to me. Then he realized I was a native speaker of American, and switched to English. Then I said hi. Then I promply ignored him pretty much the rest of the evening because, hello, Yepzen was there.
Eventually Burfelt and I bonded over our mutual love for Indiana Jones and bacon, and the rest is history. We went on many excursions to the beach at 1am. Ate many pizzas. Planned many things that we never actually got around to doing (going to the deer park, visiting castles, ice skating, etc). Talked. Laughed. Watched a Trekkie documentary. Rode the Metro. I could go on, but I think I'm failing to capture the magnificance of it all.
Burfelt is a great person. If I were to make a model of a great person, I think it would resemble Burfelt in many ways. He is one of the most even-tempered people I know. I think I've only seen him mad once. And it was pretty justifiable. Burfelt is also a good friend. I don't mean he is a good friend of mine (I mean, he is, but that's not what I'm trying to say), I mean he is good at being a friend. He is kind, considerate, and he is always willing to help out a friend in need. I wish I were more like Burfelt in a lot of ways. Burfelt always assumes the best of a person and I think by so doing he encourages people to be the best they can be.
When I am with Burfelt I feel like I am a better person. And that is one of the highest compliments I can give. So, I think I'll end on that note.
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Why I love Yepzen
This is another post in my new "Why I love..." series.
Yepzen is awesome, simply put. It seems like we've been friends forever. I still find it hard to believe that we only met a little over a year ago. Wow. Actually we first met online about a year and 7 months ago when I was looking for a place to live in good ol' Copenhagen and I thought maybe he could help me out (by moving out of his place so I could move in there). He turned out to be no help at all in the housing department, due to the fact that he decided not to move (I forgave him about this later, since I realized if he had moved, I never would have met him). :P We chatted a few subsequent times but he didn't really want to give me the time of day. Then, a few months later after I was all settled in, who should come over to my apartment accompanied by a mutual friend, but the J-dawg himself. I didn't immediately draw the connection, but I realized later that night who he was and called him a punk (for blowing me off the first time we "met"... he of course was very regretful of this, having now met me in real life and seeing how gorgeous/charismatic/funny I was). And thus was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Yepzen and I spent many a happy hour watching movies together at his apartment or mine. (And eating pizza. With egg. Yum.) Usually we just ended up talking about anything and everything, and didn't really pay much attention to the movie. Once I just said "we're just going to talk the whole time anyway, why bother putting on a movie at all?" So we didn't. And we had a great time.
We also had some good times playing pool at the CES building, and once we cooked dinner together for all the UV (YSA). That was great fun. Everyone liked our food, too. yay. :)
Yepzen is always willing to help people out, especially me, which makes him awesome in my book. :) He is the best Danish-English translator I know! He voluntarily suffered through many hours of translating for me at FHA (FHE). Sometimes the person talking would switch to English and he would just keep on "translating"--paraphrasing to me what they were saying--for a minute before realizing what he was doing. It was quite hilarious.
Yepzen is always nice to people and he is a great example to me. I admire him a lot. He also teaches seminary which I think is awesome. Yepzen has blond curly hair and the bluest blue eyes I have ever seen. (girls, he's available ;) He doesn't think he's cute, but he totally is. He is also funny. He has a great personality, and he makes me laugh.
I know that if I am ever having a bad day and I need someone to whine to, Yepzen will be there to listen to me (unless, you know, it's like 4 am his time or something... stupid time zone difference). He even bought me a webcam for Christmas so now we can do video chat, which rocks. I am going to see Yepzen in 9 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait.
There are but a handful of people in this world whom I call "best friends." Yepzen is one of them.
Yepzen is awesome, simply put. It seems like we've been friends forever. I still find it hard to believe that we only met a little over a year ago. Wow. Actually we first met online about a year and 7 months ago when I was looking for a place to live in good ol' Copenhagen and I thought maybe he could help me out (by moving out of his place so I could move in there). He turned out to be no help at all in the housing department, due to the fact that he decided not to move (I forgave him about this later, since I realized if he had moved, I never would have met him). :P We chatted a few subsequent times but he didn't really want to give me the time of day. Then, a few months later after I was all settled in, who should come over to my apartment accompanied by a mutual friend, but the J-dawg himself. I didn't immediately draw the connection, but I realized later that night who he was and called him a punk (for blowing me off the first time we "met"... he of course was very regretful of this, having now met me in real life and seeing how gorgeous/charismatic/funny I was). And thus was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Yepzen and I spent many a happy hour watching movies together at his apartment or mine. (And eating pizza. With egg. Yum.) Usually we just ended up talking about anything and everything, and didn't really pay much attention to the movie. Once I just said "we're just going to talk the whole time anyway, why bother putting on a movie at all?" So we didn't. And we had a great time.
We also had some good times playing pool at the CES building, and once we cooked dinner together for all the UV (YSA). That was great fun. Everyone liked our food, too. yay. :)
Yepzen is always willing to help people out, especially me, which makes him awesome in my book. :) He is the best Danish-English translator I know! He voluntarily suffered through many hours of translating for me at FHA (FHE). Sometimes the person talking would switch to English and he would just keep on "translating"--paraphrasing to me what they were saying--for a minute before realizing what he was doing. It was quite hilarious.
Yepzen is always nice to people and he is a great example to me. I admire him a lot. He also teaches seminary which I think is awesome. Yepzen has blond curly hair and the bluest blue eyes I have ever seen. (girls, he's available ;) He doesn't think he's cute, but he totally is. He is also funny. He has a great personality, and he makes me laugh.
I know that if I am ever having a bad day and I need someone to whine to, Yepzen will be there to listen to me (unless, you know, it's like 4 am his time or something... stupid time zone difference). He even bought me a webcam for Christmas so now we can do video chat, which rocks. I am going to see Yepzen in 9 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait.
There are but a handful of people in this world whom I call "best friends." Yepzen is one of them.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Why I love Ryan
(even though he went to Bertucci's without me...)
Ryan is funny. No, funny does not begin to describe it: he is downright hilarious. Unfortunately his jokes are sometimes so subtle they are completely lost on people. Sometimes he will say something and I will start laughing and everyone else missed it so they just look at me like I'm a moron. (I'm used to getting that look, though. :P) Once Ryan put his Facebook status as "Ryan's suitcase happened in Vegas." This was probably the funniest thing I had heard all day and I couldn't stop laughing about it. Usually when Ryan says something I find amusing I say "I love you, Ryan!" He once stated that when I say "I love you" to him, I really mean "I think what you just said is really funny." Which may be true. :P
One time I was hanging out with Ryan and his girlfriend watching a movie. Midway through it Ryan said "Hey JM, if you want to go in the other room it's fine... just FYI." ha ha ha. I stayed and watched the whole movie anyway.
Ryan is also very intelligent (which is another reason I like his humor). And he's a very nice guy. He's considerate and thoughtful and he notices and remembers little things that most people don't notice, or forget. One time we were talking about games and I told him how much I loved the game Encore. Much later, he bought it for me for Christmas. I was so surprised (and delighted) that he even remembered I liked/wanted that game.
All in all, Ryan is a great guy. I'm lucky to know him.
Ryan is funny. No, funny does not begin to describe it: he is downright hilarious. Unfortunately his jokes are sometimes so subtle they are completely lost on people. Sometimes he will say something and I will start laughing and everyone else missed it so they just look at me like I'm a moron. (I'm used to getting that look, though. :P) Once Ryan put his Facebook status as "Ryan's suitcase happened in Vegas." This was probably the funniest thing I had heard all day and I couldn't stop laughing about it. Usually when Ryan says something I find amusing I say "I love you, Ryan!" He once stated that when I say "I love you" to him, I really mean "I think what you just said is really funny." Which may be true. :P
One time I was hanging out with Ryan and his girlfriend watching a movie. Midway through it Ryan said "Hey JM, if you want to go in the other room it's fine... just FYI." ha ha ha. I stayed and watched the whole movie anyway.
Ryan is also very intelligent (which is another reason I like his humor). And he's a very nice guy. He's considerate and thoughtful and he notices and remembers little things that most people don't notice, or forget. One time we were talking about games and I told him how much I loved the game Encore. Much later, he bought it for me for Christmas. I was so surprised (and delighted) that he even remembered I liked/wanted that game.
All in all, Ryan is a great guy. I'm lucky to know him.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Why I love Katie
Me: Hey Katie, do you have any thumbtacks?
Katie: what?
Me: you know, thumbtacks, like for hanging stuff on walls...?
Katie: no... but I have a buffalo nickel!
If there had been any floor space I would have been rolling on it (laughing) at this point, however, Katie's junk was all over the floor, so I didn't. :)
Katie: what?
Me: you know, thumbtacks, like for hanging stuff on walls...?
Katie: no... but I have a buffalo nickel!
If there had been any floor space I would have been rolling on it (laughing) at this point, however, Katie's junk was all over the floor, so I didn't. :)
Sunday, January 4, 2009
On true love
Yesterday I spent a few hours having a very interesting discussion about love with an equally interesting person. The definition of love as "a chemical imbalance in the brain" came up. Which of course led to the mention of oxytocin, and then we ended up reading some interesting articles that we found online. Here are some highlights from one of them:
In 2000, Andreas Bartels and Semir Zeki of University College, London, located the areas of the brain activated by romantic love. They took students who said they were madly in love, put them into a brain scanner, and looked at their patterns of brain activity.
The results were surprising. For a start, a relatively small area of the human brain is active in love, compared with that involved in, say, ordinary friendship. “It is fascinating to reflect”, the pair conclude, “that the face that launched a thousand ships should have done so through such a limited expanse of cortex.” The second surprise was that the brain areas active in love are different from the areas activated in other emotional states, such as fear and anger. Parts of the brain that are love-bitten include the one responsible for gut feelings, and the ones which generate the euphoria induced by drugs such as cocaine. So the brains of people deeply in love do not look like those of people experiencing strong emotions, but instead like those of people snorting coke.
Then there is attraction, or the state of being in love (what is sometimes known as romantic or obsessive love). This is a refinement of mere lust that allows people to home in on a particular mate. This state is characterised by feelings of exhilaration, and intrusive, obsessive thoughts about the object of one's affection. Some researchers suggest this mental state might share neurochemical characteristics with the manic phase of manic depression. Dr Fisher's work, however, suggests that the actual behavioural patterns of those in love — such as attempting to evoke reciprocal responses in one's loved one — resemble obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).
That raises the question of whether it is possible to “treat” this romantic state clinically, as can be done with OCD. The parents of any love-besotted teenager might want to know the answer to that. Dr Fisher suggests it might, indeed, be possible to inhibit feelings of romantic love, but only at its early stages. OCD is characterised by low levels of a chemical called serotonin. Drugs such as Prozac work by keeping serotonin hanging around in the brain for longer than normal, so they might stave off romantic feelings. (This also means that people taking anti-depressants may be jeopardising their ability to fall in love.) But once romantic love begins in earnest, it is one of the strongest drives on Earth. Dr Fisher says it seems to be more powerful than hunger. A little serotonin would be unlikely to stifle it.
Of course the usual questions arose: is love nothing more than a chemical reaction? or is there more to it than that? why do we love certain people and not others? I love how this article compares love to a person with OCD, and snorting coke. Sometimes that is how it makes you feel. After all, people (myself included) have done some pretty stupid things in the name of "love."
But, I think this article is only discussing one part of love. The more physical, infatuation-type love. They also mentioned more long-term love which they called, so coldly and clinically, "pair bonding," but something was definitely missing. I believe in love. I believe that when you really love someone, they change you. You feel like a better person just being with them. You care less about yourself and your own happiness than you do about them and theirs. You are willing to sacrifice what you want for what they want, or for what is best for the two of you as a couple.
I also believe in soul-mates. Not, perhaps, in the way the article mentions them, in that you have a certain "type" of person that you are born to love. Nor really in the way that some people think of them--that there is one person on this Earth meant to be with you, and you have to find that person. Rather, to me a soul mate is a person whose soul seems to resonate with yours. Someone that you can look at and know what they are thinking, or with whom you can communicate without either of you ever saying a word. Someone that "gets" you on a fundamental level. A soul mate is a person that, when you are walking down the street, or in a science museum, or surfing the web, and you see something that you find interesting or fascinating, they are the first person you think of because you know that they will find it just as interesting or fascinating or entertaining as you do. It is a person that completes you as a person, without whom you feel like a part of yourself is missing.
I have long since believed that falling in love is not about finding a perfect person, but about finding a person that you love perfectly--so completely that you love the good and the bad and the strengths and the weakness equally. No one is perfect--everyone has faults. True love should not lead you to believe the object of your affections is perfect and free of weakness. Rather, when you find true love with someone, you love them in spite of, or even because of these weaknesses, imperfections, and faults. You love the whole person, the package deal. (That's not to say, of course, that you don't want to encourage the person to work to overcome their weaknesses, and grow, and become a better person... but you don't love them any less for their shortcomings.) I believe this because, at least to a degree, I have experienced it.
Following perusal of the above mentioned article, we were discussing soul mates. I opened the Firefox search bar to locate the part of the article that mentioned soul mates. So I could recall how they were defining it. It wasn't until much later that I noticed the search bar was still open, displaying my earlier search:
If only it were that easy for everyone.
In 2000, Andreas Bartels and Semir Zeki of University College, London, located the areas of the brain activated by romantic love. They took students who said they were madly in love, put them into a brain scanner, and looked at their patterns of brain activity.
The results were surprising. For a start, a relatively small area of the human brain is active in love, compared with that involved in, say, ordinary friendship. “It is fascinating to reflect”, the pair conclude, “that the face that launched a thousand ships should have done so through such a limited expanse of cortex.” The second surprise was that the brain areas active in love are different from the areas activated in other emotional states, such as fear and anger. Parts of the brain that are love-bitten include the one responsible for gut feelings, and the ones which generate the euphoria induced by drugs such as cocaine. So the brains of people deeply in love do not look like those of people experiencing strong emotions, but instead like those of people snorting coke.
. . .
Love = a person snorting coke...
. . .
Love = a person snorting coke...
. . .
Then there is attraction, or the state of being in love (what is sometimes known as romantic or obsessive love). This is a refinement of mere lust that allows people to home in on a particular mate. This state is characterised by feelings of exhilaration, and intrusive, obsessive thoughts about the object of one's affection. Some researchers suggest this mental state might share neurochemical characteristics with the manic phase of manic depression. Dr Fisher's work, however, suggests that the actual behavioural patterns of those in love — such as attempting to evoke reciprocal responses in one's loved one — resemble obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).
. . .
Love = a person with OCD, snorting coke...
. . .
Love = a person with OCD, snorting coke...
. . .
That raises the question of whether it is possible to “treat” this romantic state clinically, as can be done with OCD. The parents of any love-besotted teenager might want to know the answer to that. Dr Fisher suggests it might, indeed, be possible to inhibit feelings of romantic love, but only at its early stages. OCD is characterised by low levels of a chemical called serotonin. Drugs such as Prozac work by keeping serotonin hanging around in the brain for longer than normal, so they might stave off romantic feelings. (This also means that people taking anti-depressants may be jeopardising their ability to fall in love.) But once romantic love begins in earnest, it is one of the strongest drives on Earth. Dr Fisher says it seems to be more powerful than hunger. A little serotonin would be unlikely to stifle it.
. . .
Love = a terminal disease, which can be treated in its early stages but as soon as it gets out of hand it becomes incurable... and a person with OCD, snorting coke
. . .
Love = a terminal disease, which can be treated in its early stages but as soon as it gets out of hand it becomes incurable... and a person with OCD, snorting coke
. . .
Of course the usual questions arose: is love nothing more than a chemical reaction? or is there more to it than that? why do we love certain people and not others? I love how this article compares love to a person with OCD, and snorting coke. Sometimes that is how it makes you feel. After all, people (myself included) have done some pretty stupid things in the name of "love."
But, I think this article is only discussing one part of love. The more physical, infatuation-type love. They also mentioned more long-term love which they called, so coldly and clinically, "pair bonding," but something was definitely missing. I believe in love. I believe that when you really love someone, they change you. You feel like a better person just being with them. You care less about yourself and your own happiness than you do about them and theirs. You are willing to sacrifice what you want for what they want, or for what is best for the two of you as a couple.
I also believe in soul-mates. Not, perhaps, in the way the article mentions them, in that you have a certain "type" of person that you are born to love. Nor really in the way that some people think of them--that there is one person on this Earth meant to be with you, and you have to find that person. Rather, to me a soul mate is a person whose soul seems to resonate with yours. Someone that you can look at and know what they are thinking, or with whom you can communicate without either of you ever saying a word. Someone that "gets" you on a fundamental level. A soul mate is a person that, when you are walking down the street, or in a science museum, or surfing the web, and you see something that you find interesting or fascinating, they are the first person you think of because you know that they will find it just as interesting or fascinating or entertaining as you do. It is a person that completes you as a person, without whom you feel like a part of yourself is missing.
I have long since believed that falling in love is not about finding a perfect person, but about finding a person that you love perfectly--so completely that you love the good and the bad and the strengths and the weakness equally. No one is perfect--everyone has faults. True love should not lead you to believe the object of your affections is perfect and free of weakness. Rather, when you find true love with someone, you love them in spite of, or even because of these weaknesses, imperfections, and faults. You love the whole person, the package deal. (That's not to say, of course, that you don't want to encourage the person to work to overcome their weaknesses, and grow, and become a better person... but you don't love them any less for their shortcomings.) I believe this because, at least to a degree, I have experienced it.
Following perusal of the above mentioned article, we were discussing soul mates. I opened the Firefox search bar to locate the part of the article that mentioned soul mates. So I could recall how they were defining it. It wasn't until much later that I noticed the search bar was still open, displaying my earlier search:
Find: soulmate
If only it were that easy for everyone.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
"The most wonderful of all things in life is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a growing depth, beauty and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing; it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of divine accident, and the most wonderful of all things in life."
--Sir Hugh Walpole
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
