Jeg elsker Danmark

I feel bad for not blogging for so long--not that it has probably really affected anyone, except for causing me to lose what few readers I may have had. The reason I haven't taken the time to write a few posts is because I suddenly realized I am moving soon--TOO soon--and I have wanted to spend every possible moment with my friends, or out seeing Denmark, and saying goodbye. I go to the city center, and walk the pedestrian streets, trying to absorb the sights, sounds, and smells, and somehow imprint them in my mind so that I will never forget them. I pay more attention to the view from the window of the bus, the experience of descending the escalators into the Metro, the walk to school. I notice with a mixture of delight and sadness the pictures and posters on the walls in my building--almost all of which are astronomy related--that I usually just ignore in my rush to get to class, to my office, or to leave the building and get home after a long day. I carry my camera with me everywhere I go, thinking perhaps if I take enough pictures I can capture the essence of Denmark, and bring it home with me. I know it won't really work, but I still try.

It's crazy how quickly time passes. I feel like it was only a mere month or so ago that I was arriving here, getting off the plane and being hit with jet lag. My first few days I felt like a zombie. In a lot of ways it was harder to adjust to living in Denmark than I had expected. The people, the culture, the language, the grocery stores. There were times when I wanted to just throw in the towel, pack up, and go home. Surviving the winter was tough--most days I would leave while it was still dark, and get home after dark. Not hard to do when the sun starts setting at 3:30 pm, I suppose. It was cold, wet, and miserable, and the people seemed to withdraw along with the sunlight, leaving Copenhagen feeling like a very barren place indeed. A month-and-a-half-long battle with mono didn't help things, either. :)

But, the jet lag passed, the mono passed, the winter passed, and I suddenly realized one day how much I love it here. When I started making plans to come to Denmark, I expected to have a good time, to make friends, and to be sad to leave. What I hadn't expected--and what totally took me off guard--was to love this place so fiercely, or my friends so deeply. I hadn't expected to be so filled with sadness at the thought of my impending departure.

I love my country. I can't wait to see her again. I will be so excited the first time I see an American flag flying over American soil. I will be so happy to see my family and friends and cat again. But, leaving will hurt. Denmark has become a part of me, and when I go, I will leave a part of me behind. I dread this moment, in the way that a person anticipates something they know is necessary, but will cause them pain--an upcoming surgery, getting a shot (I hate shots!), something like that. I can see it there on the horizon, but I can't avoid it.

Although I will only have lived here for slightly less than a year, and my Danish skills are still sadly lacking, I will always consider myself just a tiny bit Danish. I do have the surname, after all! Though I haven't even left yet, I am already making plans to return.